Sombre Musings

I remember reading something once and finding it difficult and strange to understand or relate to. It was a quote which stated that the people we love the most will often be the ones who will stop us from doing whatever it is we need to do. Often it isn’t with bad intentions that they do this; often it is because of love combined with a fear of the unknown, and their inability to relate to what you are going through. They simply cannot put themselves in your shoes, and because of this they don’t understand and therefore fear the scenarios and life decisions you want to make. It is painful, and it can deter you from whatever it is that you want to achieve. This is something I am experiencing right now. I strongly believe that I am in a unique position to discuss the issues surrounding being an ex-Muslim. I think I have the capacity to understand the intolerance some Muslims have towards change, criticism, and ex-Muslims. On the other hand, I also understand the reasons behind the decisions made by ex-Muslims, and the grievances and criticisms of those in the wider community against Islam. As I have read more around the discourse from Muslims, ex-Muslims and non-Muslims, I cannot shake the very strong belief that there seriously needs to be a change here. So much of it is coloured with a lens of anger, hatred and emotion; everywhere I look I either read arguments to abolish religion, or those who choose to leave it. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the anger and pain ex-Muslims are going through on a daily basis, and no one can justify the violence and intolerance many have had to endure because of their leaving. But I think those emotions cannot paint the lens they use to view solutions to the problem. I know that I am no longer a Muslim and I do not follow Islam. But that does not mean I want to see it slandered or viewed as evil. All that is doing is making it more difficult for those people who choose to believe, willingly and with love. I will admit that there are issues, and there are grounds for the criticism that it receives on a daily basis. But my ultimate aim is to create a system of tolerance, and the tactic of slander and criticism is simply not fruitful or practical. At the end of the day, people will believe and people won’t, what we need to learn is how to just get along and deal with that.

The more I see messages of hatred and evil against Islam, the more angered and determined I become to do something about this. Again, it is not because I am a follower of the faith but because I realise how difficult this negative discourse makes living as a Muslim. I am sure that if I were to read the angry and resentful conversations around other religions I would react in much the same way. But having been brought up in this faith and experiencing things first-hand, my level of understanding is far deeper when it comes to matters of this faith. Further to this, my parents were born in Africa and my heritage is Indian, but I myself was born in England. This allows me to understand the deeper, and more complex culturally-orientated factors and nuances that are at play here which I think are being mistakenly overlooked. The level of understanding I have therefore drives me to want to research more and begin to have these debates, because I realise that all of this is bigger than me. This is what the little voice inside my mind says when it is faced with a doubt that maybe I should just give up; you’ve left the religion, just go and do whatever the heck it is that you want to do, it’s not your problem anymore. It’s such an easy thing to do, especially when I know there is a possibility this may affect my family. Haven’t I hurt them enough by leaving the religion in the first place?

And yet I can’t shake the idea that this is something that I need to do, that I need to have these discussions and do this research, and ask the questions people don’t want to be asked. The primary reason why I left this religion is simply because I did not feel anything within me that drove me to want to follow it. Nothing at all. I understand that others do, and that is something I won’t be able to relate to, much in the same way as they will not be able to understand my lack of connection. If religion helps you, please go ahead and believe. If you feel it isn’t for you, then please go ahead and leave. That is my motto. Everyone just do whatever the heck you want; as long as it is not harming or impeaching on others, quite frankly I couldn’t give a shit. Ironically though I can’t help but feel that my lack of connection and emotion for this faith, coupled with my strong urge to have a society of tolerance, is what puts me in the best position possible to have these conversations and to ask and address the questions that the wider communities are asking but that Muslims don’t want to acknowledge exist. Putting our heads in the ground is a dangerous thing, and as a beautiful Muslim female speaker pointed out in her Ted Talk, Muslims need to be at the table. It will be difficult, and others will ask them questions and make comments about their religion that will hurt them. But in this case emotions need to be put aside and debates need to be had so that they can defend their faith in an intellectual and fact-driven manner. If they don’t step up to defend it, then others will take their place at the table and slander them, using their own texts to do so, which is exactly what is happening right now.

I don’t know where my research and debate will take me, but I hope that this feeling within me to pursue it never falters. Currently it feels like an uphill struggle, and everything is just a hazy mist with no real sense of direction and purpose. Last night though, I went for a walk under clear skies and saw more stars then I have ever seen in my life. I sat outside and looked up, seeing my first ever shooting star and making my wish upon it in an instant, eyes squeezed tightly shut and breath held for a long time after. In that moment, with a blanket of stars above me, the sound of the river and wind around me, and the mountains rising above me, I couldn’t help but feel the overwhelming magnitude of this world. The darkness stretched out into oblivion, and it became a rare moment when I was able to put my troubles and problems into the context of the enormity of this universe. They shrivelled and shrunk into nothingness. Who knows what we are doing on this world, and whether or not we are taking the right steps, whether we’re going the right way, whether there even is a right way. All we really have is this moment, and our mission is to simply be happy within it. As I sat there last night I couldn’t shake the image of us all as ghostly shadows, hunched over dull lamps in the darkness that only manage to illuminate a few steps ahead. Sometimes we bump into others, other times we walk miles alone. Throughout it all though, we just keep walking. It was a sombre image, and it has stayed with me all day through the rain and fog that has enveloped us up here on the mountain. Today I feel there is not much I can do, except sit and hope that soon, the mist will clear.

Let me introduce myself (finally).

I have recently updated my About Me page and thought to share it with you all below, mainly because I finally tell you exactly who I am! And to think it only took me two years to do it. Things are a’changin’ in this world of mine, and when I look back from the future I have a strong feeling these past few months will be the ones I remember as life-changing. I can’t wait to share it all with you 🙂

Howdy doo you gorgeous thing!

Welcome, welcome, please take a seat and make yourself comfortable. Cup of virtual tea perhaps, or maybe a slice of Broadband pie? I’ve put the order in, they’re on their way!

Where to begin? Well, who I am would be good I think. My name is Hadeesa Ramjee and I was born in Birmingham, England. I am currently on a Writers and Artists Retreat in the South of France, something I can’t recommend enough (check them out here). After this I’m not sure where I’ll go or what I’ll do, but I’ll be sure to let you know as soon as I find out! Everyone has a major shifting point in the plot of their life. Mine happened at the start of January 2016, before I arrived in France. Leaving Birmingham, I felt I was closing the chapter on a long and difficult part of my journey to finding out who I am. The biggest thing I’ve learnt so far in this quest is that sometimes it’s more important to know who you aren’t, rather than who you are.

I was born into a Muslim family. A beautiful family, with amazing parents and siblings that I owe the world to. Unfortunately, this soul of mine hasn’t been able to make it on to the religious path. So for the first two decades of my life I have struggled to come to terms with my lack of belief in the faith I was brought up in. The truth is it has been a very difficult journey, with the deepest lows splattered with guilt, anger, and self-hate. I have started and closed down numerous anonymous blogs as a way for me to deal with all of the malarkey that came up in this sticky situation – it definitely is a great way to get things off your chest!

This blog in particular also started off in much the same way, although with slightly less swearing but just as many embarassing confessions. I realised when I set it up though that the shifting point was beginning to materialise, as I wanted to spend less time focussing on the bad. Within it I began by posting One Good Thought a day in an effort to be more positive. It took me a long time to realise that the negative thoughts that enter our heads are firstly, not actually us, and secondly, can actually help us. More often than not these thoughts are trying to tell us something we may not realise on a conscious level. Instead of trying to wave them away or feel guilty for having them, what we actually need to do is pick them apart to find the root cause of why they have appeared. This is something I did with my own negative thoughts and am hoping to continue through The Good Thoughts Bank website I am in the middle of creating, something I’d love your help with! You can check out how here.

Anonymity is an amazing thing because it gives you the security to be open and honest. However, in the last couple of years I am finally coming to terms with who I am and what I do and don’t believe in. I realise that leaving any religion, but especially Islam, is extremely difficult, bringing about a huge range of emotions, struggles, and difficult decisions. It is also difficult to start thinking about the answer to the question ‘Who am I?’ when all the labels are finally stripped away. That is why I have decided to talk openly about both my past experiences as well as my current ones, in the hopes that it can help people in a similar situation. As I begin to remove myself from an environment I have always known, I am finding myself with more freedom to research other beliefs, as well as looking at the Islamic faith with an outsider’s lens. I have noticed that most of the critiques of any religion is rooted in self-interest and slander. I am yet to find a resource that sets out an unbiased look at religions, that fairly and honestly sets out both the benefits and drawbacks. My search has only just begun, so bear with me, and please do point me in the right direction if anything springs to mind, I would appreciate it a lot! Whatever happens though, I will be sharing it all with you!

It is the scariest thing to feel you are wasting your life, and to feel utterly helpless in being able to change it. You get one shot at life. I remember this thought crystallising very early on, and I still have moments when I cannot breathe because of it. My desire to make sure I don’t waste a moment hasn’t wavered yet, and I am so glad for it because all I want to do is instill it in others. Life is too short to be doing anything except what you love, and to be unapologetically and crazily happy whilst you do it. You deserve nothing less. The worst thing about it is thinking you are alone. Well I’m here to tell you that you aren’t. I’m not just talking about religion. It can be anything; a job you don’t want to do anymore, a relationship you don’t want to be in, dreams you don’t think you’ll ever live. Take it from someone who knows, the biggest obstacle to being able to achieve all your heart desires is your mind. Because nothing, and I mean nothing, is ever as bad as it seems. And sometimes the way out is staring at you right in the face, all you need is a bit of help in trying to see it.

And that’s what I’m here for. I hope you enjoy the accounts of the crazy journey I’m on. All I can wish for is that it can help, in some way, shape or form.

If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or just need someone to natter at, I’d be happy to listen. You can drop me an email at goodthoughtsbank@gmail.com

 

Love, light and shiny Good Thoughts to you all!

H

And if you’d like to follow me…

Hello beautiful people!

It’s been a long, LONG time I know. A lot has happened, a lot has changed, and suddenly we are into a new year. New year, new me, blah blah blah right? Except this time it actually is!

I am currently sat at a writer’s retreat in a rural part of France. I have just entered into a whole new part of my life, and quite honestly I am so bloody excited! I am here for six weeks to write, read, and figure out what the hell I’m doing.

I’m sure I’ll be sharing my discoveries with you every now and again (I hope).

I hope you are all well, I hope the New Year brings with it only the finest and most beautiful of things, and I hope to see you as we contiue our journeys, wherever they may lead!

Love and light,

H. x

P.S. I have just come across Kahlil Gibran’s work: The Madman. I can’t recommend it enough, the link for it is here: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jrcole/gibran/madman/madman.htm

 

I’ll leave you with one of the first that I read:

 

MY FRIEND

 

My friend, I am not what I seem. Seeming is but a garment I wear — a care-woven garment that protects me from thy questionings and thee from my negligence.
The “I” in me, my friend, dwells in the house of silence, and therein it shall remain for ever more, unperceived, unapproachable.
I would not have thee believe in what I say nor trust in what I do — for my words are naught but thy own thoughts in sound and my deeds thy own hopes in action.
When thou sayest, “The wind bloweth eastward,” I say, “Aye, it doth blow eastward”; for I would not have thee know that my mind doth not dwell upon the wind but upon the sea.
Thou canst not understand my seafaring thoughts, nor would I have thee understand. I would be at sea alone.
When it is day with thee, my friend, it is night with me; yet even then I speak of the noontide that dances upon the hills and of the purple shadow that steals its way across the valley; for thou canst not hear the songs of my darkness nor see my wings beating against the stars — and I fain would not have thee hear or see. I would be with night alone.
When thou ascendest to thy Heaven I descend to my Hell — even then thou callest to me across the unbridgeable gulf, “My companion, my comrade,” and I call back to thee, “My comrade, my companion” — for I would not have thee see my Hell. The flame would burn thy eyesight and the smoke would crowd thy nostrils. And I love my Hell too well to have thee visit it. I would be in Hell alone.
Thou lovest Truth and Beauty and Righteousness; and I for thy sake say it is well and seemly to love these things. But in my heart I laugh at thy love. Yet I would not have thee see my laughter. I would laugh alone.
My friend, thou art good and cautious and wise; nay, thou art perfect — and I, too, speak with thee wisely and cautiously. And yet I am mad. But I mask my madness. I would be mad alone.
My friend, thou art not my friend, but how shall I make thee understand? My path is not thy path, yet together we walk, hand in hand.

One good thought: You are not your past

Hi beautiful readers, it has been a while! I didn’t want to start this post with an explanation or a promise of getting back onto the blogging track or an excuse for why I fell off it. To be honest I just didn’t want to bore you! All I do want to say is this; I think one of the most beautiful parts about being human is our ability and tendancy to change, constantly, and often without warning. And so it’s no surprise that our blogs will of course change too, shift in their focus and content, frequency and meaning. The purpose of this blog is still the same, a place of positivity, something I hope can spread good thoughts and can perhaps help people in some way. It’s changed from one good thought a day (hence the change to the tagline ‘Good Thoughts Bank’) but that purpose is still there and is completely interlinked with my own journey in this crazy world, my own realisations as I make them, my own ups along with my downs.

And today’s post couldn’t demonstrate this more! It’s a simple good thought, but it comes from my recent eureka moment that sent barrels of hope and understanding my way.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST.

Whatever has happened, whatever you may have been through, whoever the people are that constantly remind you of things you may have gone through, you are not your past. I’ll be the first to admit that I have often defined myself through my past. I hold the things that have happened to me up so the world can see. I don’t know if it’s because I want sympathy, or whether it’s because I feel this person I am is simply so inadequete that telling the story of my past becomes an escape. It becomes an explanation for the flaws I see in myself, a warning label. I blame and hold grudges incredibly strongly, and find it so very hard to let go of them, to forgive, to move on. Trust me, have an argument with me and I’ll be bringing back things you did before you could even walk!

A few nights ago I finally admitted all of this to myself. I sat down and really thought about, speaking out loud and making it real. Within minutes I was in fits of laughter at how stupid it all was, at how stupid was. The confessions continued (which I shall of course be sharing with you in my next post), and suddenly thoughts began tumbling in my mind of my many flaws, but also my many strengths too. Amidst all those thoughts came my own words that I have written in this blog so many times, that the two things that we need in this world the most is self-belief and perspective. And of course that’s exactly it. We need the self-belief to realise that we have so many more strengths than flaws and we don’t need to excuse ourselves to anybody. And we need the perspective to realise that we are not our past, we are so much more than it.

The best way to do anything in this life is just that, do it. It’s why I think actions always speak louder than words or intentions. What matters is what you do, what matters is the person you are, and how you show it, what matters is if you’ll let your past define you, or instead drive you to create your own future. Each day is a new chance to start all over again. Carpe diem as they say! And I don’t mean going out and achieving the impossible. I mean simply deciding to wake up happy, going through your day positively, and letting your head fall back on the pillow with the knowledge that it was a day spent well.

All of this led me to write my first typewriter poetry piece, something I had been meaning to do for a while but I just couldn’t find the words. I hope you enjoy it!

It feels so good to be writing again! Here’s hoping I’ll see you very soon 🙂

H ❤

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One good thought: Hang in there

I thought I had managed to pull myself out of the dark place I’d gone to, but unfortunately it isn’t the case. Which means once again, I’m going to have to take a break from writing on this fast disintegrating blog. I am so sorry my beautiful readers.

I am lost. I am incredibly and desperately lost in this big bad world. I know this world isn’t bad, I do. But right now this beautiful universe wants me to travel against the wind and there is nothing I can do but let it carry me to where I need to be right now. I am so unbelievably ready for big changes in my life, for a life of wandering and moving from one place to the next, without a plan or direction, just setting off with the sole aim of seeing as much of this beautiful planet as I can. Of meeting people, as many people as will meet with me. And helping. I don’t know how but I feel I have so much to give, and I want to spend my life giving it. It’s that first step, it’s always that first step that is the hardest. I don’t know how to begin, and I don’t know how to tell the people I love that I am not the person they think I am because I know when I do I will hurt them immensely. I just don’t know how to start again.

‘Time waits for no man’. A long time ago I wrote of how much I love this quote. Right now time is my best friend, because I know that it will keep moving, and we just have to keep moving with it because it won’t care if we’ve tripped and are waiting for someone to come and pick us up. Our problems today, that seem as vast as the ocean, will be nothing more than puddles in our eyes tomorrow. So my good thought today is this; hang in there, and just keep going. For anyone going through anything, you aren’t alone. That I feel is the biggest comfort sometimes, knowing you aren’t alone, knowing there are strangers on the other side of computer screens who feel what you feel. And who will one day jump in those puddles with you and laugh at the fact they aren’t so deep after all.

I paused for a second to check a message and it’s a quote from my best friend, who somehow always manages to say the exact right thing when it needs to be said. It sent shivers down my spine and I obviously had no choice but to share it with all of you.

‘One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star’

Nietzsche

I love you all incredibly much and I hope I’ll see you very soon

H ❤

One good thought: Less is more

So currently one of the biggest issues I currently have is finding a job. Surprise, surprise, nothing has changed and I’m still gloriously unemployed (wahay!) It’s proving a long and difficult road that has its fair share of ups, downs, crazily difficult decisions and very real self-reflection avenues. For a long time I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do. Well, that’s a lie. I wanted to be an actor for a long time, and actually still do. But it’s something that I still don’t know if I’m good at, seeing I’ve never been in a play, a production, or even very many public speaking instances. There have been some, it’s true. But that was before when I shook harder than a leaf during a tornado. Now I feel like I’m more confident and maybe, just maybe, I might actually be good at it. That’s why hopefully in 2015 I shall finally get myself on an acting class and answer that question once and for all!

What I do think I would be good at though is still following a career within TV and film, but focussing on the production side of things. For someone who has no relevant experience in that area though, writing a good CV and covering letter is pretty much the hardest thing ever. There are roles that are coming up that I feel I am absolutely perfect for, positions I would really do well in and manage to find my element and wow the world (if that doesn’t sound too egoistical!). But I have applied to so many similar positions and have had no luck at all, each time being met with the same response: ‘The employers were impressed by your CV but have decided to choose other candidates who were more suitable in terms of relevant work experience.’ Perhaps it is because I don’t have the relevant work experience. Or maybe it’s actually because I’m not showing that I have, and can apply, those same skills all those other candidates gained in that relevant work experience, even though I got them in different ways. And THAT’S what makes a good CV.

Looking over both my CV and cover letters, I realise my biggest problem is that I waffle on WAY too much. Come to think of it I feel the same thing can be applied to this blog! It’s funny though because in person I find it very difficult to find much to say at all. Ah the irony. I feel that everything currently on my CV is important, I feel that every sentence in my cover letter has to stay in, I feel that saying just the basics isn’t enough, it has to be elaborated. Wow, just writing this is making me realise I am doing the EXACT same thing right now, writing three long-ass paragraphs in order to just get to one simple point: LESS IS MORE.

Of course this isn’t always true. In the case of pizza, more is the only response to the question ‘Are you finished?’ But sometimes it is true, and I feel in my case, that’s probably more often than not. I’m constantly finding myself writing out huge paragraphs to people’s questions in a text when a few words would have done. And then suddenly we’re having an essay marathon and soon someone doesn’t have time to reply and the conversation just stops and sits there forgotten. In my creative writing too, there are so many instances where I get lost in my own long and winding sentences. The more I think about this the more I need to ask myself why this is the case. And I feel like perhaps there is a reason, although how legitimate it is you can be the judge of!

I feel that I have a very strong urge to make a reader see exactly what I am seeing, in my head, as I write. Or perhaps I need to convince them to agree with the point I am making. So I begin to describe a lot, or reinforce an argument by providing a whole load of examples. Just as I’m writing this at this moment I’m beginning to see a massive flaw in this. Of course you can’t make others see exactly what you see! That’s where the magic lies, because when it comes to creative writing so much of the beauty of it lies in the reader’s ability to take a writer’s words and make them their own, make them personal. The writer transports you into their world yes, the world they dream up in their minds and that we are guests within. But I feel that no reader can be objective, our experiences bring extra nuances to those words, and allow us to gain a truly personal experience, especially when those words relate so strongly to similar experiences we ourselves have had.

(There is another reason why I feel I write this way, but it’s something that I feel perhaps would be better talked about in a post on its own. So I’ll just put a pin in that.)

I don’t think much of what I have written really applies to a CV or cover letter because in that instance I very much do want the employer to see what I see: that I’m amazing and you bloody well better pick me! But it still stands: less is more. You need to be concise, logical, and clear, something I’m finding difficult to do and which isn’t doing me any favours especially as media is such a competitive industry to get into.

Less offers mystery in writing. It promotes self-constraint and appreciation when it comes to food (apart from pizza of course 😉 ). Holding onto the possessions you well and truly need and love also means fewer worries and stresses. Having a few close friends means more than befriending as many people as you can (and there’s a hell of a lot less drama too!) And living a simple life, combining all of this together, I truly believe can lead a type of happiness that you’ll never be able to find in any store or Facebook friend request. Unless it’s Dan from Bastille. That would keep me going for a few days. Or decades.

If anyone does have any advice on media CVs/cover letters/working in TV and film production, it would be SO appreciated! And if I do get this job on the basis of said advice I swear on the internet fairies I shall buy you a pizza. Even if you live on the other side of the world, I SHALL BUY YOU A PIZZA!

Lots o’ love ♥

How stupid can you be?

Honestly. How stupid can you be? In September circumstances suddenly decided to turn ugly and I found myself in a very dark place both mentally and physically. It was something I had felt coming for a while, evidenced by my late posts and the increasing difficulty I was having to find something to say. I sat down and wrote a piece explaining all of this and stating that I would need a little break, that I was so sorry that I was breaking my promise, and that this was something that I have been suffering with for a while, these periodic moments where my mind didn’t seem to want to work, and that the obstacles were proving too difficult to navigate. But that hopefully with time they’ll become even more infrequent, and this blog had done amazing things to keep it at bay, for a little while at least.

AND THEN I FORGOT TO POST IT. *facepalm*

I am so sorry my beautiful readers! I am definitely back again, although it did take a lot longer than I thought to pull myself back up and face writing these posts. There are times that I feel hypocritical because I write about things, about ways to act, as if I follow them myself at all times. Of course, I try as hard as I can. But times like these make it difficult for me to believe that I really have a right to go around preaching about things when I can’t follow them all the time. But of course that’s a stupid way to look at things. Because we’re human. The lows are just as important as the highs, because they not only help us to appreciate those highs, they make us so much more aware of who the important people are in our lives, and which ones will stick around when you’re calling up at 4am in the morning wanting to rave about all things ugly. Sometimes the source isn’t as important as the actual content (don’t kill me, every history teacher that’s ever lived).

One thing that I will say about writing a blog such as this is that perhaps I set myself a target that is beyond myself right now. To read one good thought a day is what we all need. But to write it, especially when it does take you, more often than not, a full hour to do, perhaps I’m not ready for that just yet. Also, coming out from this, I feel like I’ve managed to cross another road block. Every single blog that I have written (and there have been a few), has been anonymous. This was partly to protect the people I love, and to protect myself too it’s true, but it also has a lot to do with the confidence and security anonymity gives. And that’s not just for the writer, but also the reader too. It’s a well known psychological fact that we often find more comfort and trust in a stranger than someone who we’ve known for years. That’s why I never put a photo or a name up. Because I know how true that is.

But I do feel that I am ready to start writing under my own name and sharing it with the people I know and often think about when I write. Sooooooooo, I’ve decided that in a few weeks I’ll be setting up a new blog which I’ll share on sites like Facebook and Instagram. I’ll be posting each piece on both this blog and my non-anonymous blog too so if you don’t want to know who this quite weird person is then this blog will still be right here, hopefully without any more two month hiatuses!

I’m aiming to post once a week now, maybe twice depending on how interesting my life has been! I know it’s a massive step down from every single day but I am hoping that this means that the posts will be a bit more refined and, quite frankly, better than the stuff I’ve written previously!

So yes, this is the story. This is the news. And this is the big fat apology from the eejit who can’t use WordPress.

There is one good thought that I of course will leave you with this week, and it comes from one of the most amazing books I have read, ‘A Field Guide To Getting Lost’ by Rebecca Solnit. It comes within the context of the story she tells of white American settlers, often young children, who were taken by Indians as a replacement for family members that they had lost. She writes of numerous instances where these individuals who were taken completely forget their previous identity, taking on the new one they are given.

‘The people thrown into other cultures go through something of the anguish of the butterfly, whose body must disintegrate and reform more than once in its life cycle. In her novel Regeneration, Pat Barker writes of a doctor who “knew only too well how often the early stages of change or cure may mimic deterioration. Cut a chrysalis open, and you will find a rotting caterpillar. What you will never find is that mythical creature, half caterpillar, half butterfly, a fit emblem of the human soul, for those whose cast of mind leads them to seek such emblems. No, the process of transformation consists almost entirely of decay.” But the butterfly is so fit an emblem of the human soul that its name in Greek is psyche, the word for soul. We have not much language to appreciate this phase of decay, this withdrawal, this era of ending that must precede beginning. Nor of the violence of the metamorphosis, which is often spoken of as though it were as graceful as a flower blooming…’

Until next week beautiful readers! ❤