Hey everyone! So today’s good thought has come much later in the day than just after midnight which has been my routine so far. And that’s because it was a pretty massive day for us! Becaaaause, my sister… my beautiful, amazing, wonderful sister… goooot… *drumroll please*… LEGALLY MARRIED! Now I add the legally bit because it was actually her registration and not her actual wedding. But it’s still an amazing event all the same. Today I looked at my little family sitting in a fancy registration room, beaming out at the three ladies who couldn’t help but say the names in the most hilarious way ever. I thought about everything we’ve been through, I thought about all those painful moments that seem to creep up on you when you least expect, I thought about the downs which were always just as big as our highest of highs, I looked at my amazing mother who’s all I could ever wish to be, I looked at my equally amazing father who would travel to the ends of the earth just to make us smile, I looked at my brother who is the strongest and most sincere man I have ever known, and I looked at my sister, who’s handled, and still handles, every little thing this world has thrown her with a calm head that always seems to know what’s what, and I just couldn’t help but smile. Massive, wide-eyed, toothy smiles. Grins that wouldn’t stop even when my cheeks hurt. Because when you’re filled with so much happiness, and pride, and wonder, you can’t help but smile.
I know I posted a little while back that the normal days, the boring ones, they are the ones that sometimes matter most. I definitely still believe that. But the big days, they matter in a different way. I appreciate the normal days, I treasure each and every single one of them because they are snapshots in time, they are moments I want to be repeated because they bring forth a happiness that stems from normality. It stems from the fact nothing major has happened, things have just flown beautifully, no highs or lows, just a safe, and comforting middle ground. Days like these though, they aren’t snapshots in time, they are a whole movie reel. They’re one of the big climaxes of the story of our lives. Because on those days you see just how far you’ve come. You see the culmination of a journey of change that you didn’t even realise you had set out on. It’s almost blinding. At least that’s what I felt today.
The actual wedding day is exactly a month from tomorrow, and I feel that today has set in motion the beginning of the end of this chapter of our lives. Not only will a whole new person be permanently part of our pack of five (or actually six because my parrot is, of course, a human being too), but my sister will be moving away to London after she ties the knot. Which means I don’t just ‘lose’ my big sister, I also ‘lose’ my best friend. Of course I’m not actually losing her, she’ll still be here of course. But things will be different, they’ll change. Sometimes, perhaps all the time, when even just one person leaves a close group, you lose a massive part of the true essence of who they are, you create a hole that you simply can’t fill. You’ll always feel it. And gosh it’s scary, and so painfully sad. I can’t imagine it at all, in fact I think I refuse to let myself think about it for fear of what’ll happen to me.
And that’s why I think of the exciting parts instead. I think about how I have a whole new brother, and I think of the visits I’ll give my sister in London (during which I will continually push the ‘have kids early’ proposition’). I think of the fact I have amazing friends who have already made sure I know they’ll be there for me when I turn into a moping, weeping, ball of mess. I think of the fact hopefully I’ll be starting my own new chapter in the world of work and all that that will open up for me; saving up money, and wanderlusting as much as I possibly can, finally getting to feel that sense of independence I’ve been searching for for so long. I think of the fact in October one of my best friends will finally be back from her placement abroad and I can see her face again after 18 months, and that we’ll hopefully be able to do all the things we’ve got planned in her last year in the UK (including a visit to Berlin!). I think of the fact I’m finally going to get my driving sorted and pass my test. I think of all the places I will visit now that this whole new part of my life is beginning, all the new people I’ll meet and share stories with. I think of that ever-growing sense of freedom that seems to have been unleashed within me the second I put the pen down during the last exam of my university career.
It’s exciting times! Things are changing it’s true, and part of it will be sad. But you always have that choice right? It’s that all important second part of my dual theory: perception. You can completely change a whole situation just by looking at it in a different way. It’s true power in your hands and it’s not given out to those with the most money, or greatest status. It’s all there, right inside you, ready to be unleashed 😀
I shall see you tomorrow pretty peeps! ♥
Good Thoughts Bank 